


Teaspoon :: The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008 by cheri

by Cheriluvs10



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:24:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2092167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheriluvs10/pseuds/Cheriluvs10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>10Rose Humor It's that time of year again! Carolers are singing, Christmas presents are being wrapped and the Doctor finds himself facing another demented villian with his entorage of gold robots in Christmas disguises. FINISHED</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

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**The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008** by [cheri](http://www.whofic.com/viewuser.php?uid=1862) [[Reviews](http://www.whofic.com/reviews.php?sid=17610&chapid=38597) \- [5](http://www.whofic.com/reviews.php?sid=17610&chapid=38597)] [Chapter](http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=17610&chapter=1) **or** [Story](http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=17610&chapter=all)   
  
  
1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5

  
  
Chapter One  
  
Rose smiled as she and the Doctor walked down the streets of London. It had been a year since she had come back and she had quickly adjusted to life back on the TARDIS. Both Donna and Martha had left about a month ago wanting to get on with their lives, but for Rose, the Doctor and the TARDIS were her life and she didn’t want any other.  
  
They had decided to come back to Earth a few days before Christmas to do some shopping and take in the sights. Of course, they could celebrate Christmas any time they wanted, but Rose kept a small calendar in her room and when she saw it was nearing Christmas, she asked the Doctor if they could celebrate. The Doctor happily obliged her knowing that would make her happy and that was good enough for him.  
  
The two of them were having a blast walking through the city, doing window shopping and looking at the decorations. There was one problem though. For some reason, the Doctor seemed nervous. He kept glancing around like he was expecting something to jump out and get them. Rose looked around, but could see nothing out of the ordinary. Still, that didn’t seem to calm the Doctor. He just looked more and more agitated with each passing moment.   
  
Finally, she could stand it no longer. She had to find out what was going on.  
  
“Doctor, what’s wrong?” she asked.  
  
“Robots!” the Doctor said looking over his shoulder.  
  
“Robots?”  
  
“Robots. Where are the robots?” the Doctor muttered.  
  
Rose gave him an odd look.  
  
“Um, I’m not sure I know what you mean.” She said.  
  
She gasped when the Doctor seized her arms..  
  
“It never fails, Rose. Every Christmas there’s some demented villain and a hoard of gold robot henchmen dressed in Christmas costumes. The first Christmas after I met you, there were the gold robots dressed like Father Christmas. Then, the next year, Donna and I faced more gold robots dressed like Father Christmas. And last year, I was about the spaceship Titanic with Astrid and there were gold angel robots on board. Now, it’s Christmastime again, so where are the bleedin’ gold Christmas bots at?   
  
Rose stared at him.  
  
“Um…Doctor, you sure you’re not overreacting here? I mean, we’ve been walking for about two hours and I haven’t seen any robot let alone gold ones dressed in Christmas costumes.”  
  
“That’s because they know I’m on to them now so they’re not hiding in plain sight. Those Christmas bots are crafty, Rose. They’re around here somewhere.”  
  
“Sure they are, Doctor.” Rose said patting his hand.  
  
The Doctor ignored her as he walked past.  
  
“Come on, you gold sons of bitches, where are you? I know you’re here so it’s no use hiding from me!”  
  
Rose sighed and followed him as he continued to search everywhere for the phantom robots.  
  
She gasped when the Doctor stopped short and she walked right into him. She gave him an angry look.  
  
“Doctor, will you please warn me before you decide to stop in the middle of the stre---“  
  
“Shhhh!” the Doctor said putting his finger to her lips. “Be quiet, we don’t want to alert him.”  
  
“Who?” Rose asked as the Doctor took his finger away from her lips.  
  
“The Christmas bot.”  
  
Rose sighed.  
  
“Doctor, come on,”  
  
“Shush!” the Doctor said putting his hand over her mouth.  
  
He took his hand away.  
  
“Alright, where is this…Christmas bot?” she asked him.  
  
The Doctor pointed behind her. She turned and saw there was a man dressed as Father Christmas sitting in a high-backed chair with a toddler on his lap. Beside him a queue of kids and their parents stretched back several feet. Rose looked at the Doctor.  
  
“That’s…a human.” She said.  
  
The Doctor shook his head.  
  
“No, it’s one of those Christmas bots. I’m sure of it.”  
  
“Doctor…”  
  
“Stay right here, Rose. I’ll protect you!”  
  
Rose sighed and threw up her hands as the Doctor hurried towards Father Christmas.  
  
“Alright!” the Doctor said walking up to him. “The jig is up! Tell me who you’re working for!”  
  
He snatched the beard off the bot’s face. He stopped and stared at the bot that looked remarkably like a human. On closer inspection, the Doctor realized that it was, in fact, a very bewildered human dressed up like Father Christmas. Rose groaned and put her head in her hands as the Doctor gave the beard back to the man.  
  
“Sorry, mate, thought you were someone else.” He said to the shocked man.  
  
He looked at the toddler on his knee.  
  
“Um…don’t mind me, I’m one of the elves and this is a private joke that I play with my boss. It really is Father Christmas. He…just decided to shave this year.”  
  
He patted the child on the head. Ignoring the dirty looks of the parents in the queue, he walked back to Rose.  
  
“Happy now?” she said to him.  
  
“No, I’m still not convinced. The Christmas bots are around here, I’m sure of it.”  
  
Rose groaned and fell in behind the Doctor as he went off in search of those annoying golden menaces.   
  
They walked along and after a half hour Rose was convinced the Doctor had finally given up his search. So, it shocked her when the Doctor stopped short again. This time she had the presence of mind to stop before she ran into him.  
  
“Now what, Doctor?” she said sighing.  
  
“I’ve spotten them this time!” the Doctor said pointing off to his right.  
  
Rose turned and looked in the direction he was pointing. She saw a group of carolers standing on a corner singing. She looked at the Doctor.  
  
“Those carolers.” She said gesturing to them.  
  
“Oh yes, those crafty buggers have disguised themselves well, but not well enough.”  
  
“Doctor!” Rose said.  
  
But she was too late. She sighed as the Doctor took off towards them.  
  
“Please don’t get us arrested, please don’t get us arrested, please don’t get us arrested.” She chanted as she watched him walk up to a male caroler standing on the end of the back row.   
  
“Deck the halls with boughs of holly, fa-la-la-lala-la…”  
  
The male caroler trailed off when he suddenly realized someone was breathing on his cheek. He turned his head and saw a strange, skinny man staring at him intently.   
  
“Um…what are you doing?” the caroler asked him.  
  
The strange, skinny man stared at him for a moment and then cleared his throat.  
  
“Oh, I was just admiring your singing. You’re a fantastic tenor. You should sing professionally.” He said.  
  
The caroler stared at him.  
  
“Thanks…I think.”  
  
The strange man smiled at him, put his hands in his pockets and walked away. The caroler watched as he walked back to a blonde woman who seemed to be extremely embarrassed. Shrugging, he went back to singing.  
  
“I cannot believe you did that.” Rose said as she and the Doctor walked off.  
  
“I’m sorry, Rose, I thought for sure that was a Christmas bot in disguise.” He said.  
  
“Doctor, there are no bleedin’ Christmas bots, okay? Now will you calm down and enjoy the day before you get us arrested?”   
  
The Doctor nodded. Rose let out a sigh of relief and took his hand.  
  
“Now, let’s go over here and look at the lights, yeah?” she said to him.  
  
The Doctor smiled and nodded. He and Rose walked off unaware that a gold robot in a Christmas costume was watching them from a nearby alley.  
  
  


1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5  
  
Doctor Who and its accoutrements are the property of the BBC, and we obviously don't have any right to them. Any and all crossover characters belong to their respective creators. Alas no one makes any money from this site, and it's all done out of love for a cheap-looking sci-fi show. All fics are property of their individual authors. Archival at this site should not be taken to constitute automatic archive rights elsewhere, and authors should be contacted individually to arrange further archiving. Despite occasional claims otherwise, The Blessed St Lalla Ward is not officially recognised by the Catholic Church. Yet.   
  
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	2. Chapter 2

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**The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008** by [cheri](http://www.whofic.com/viewuser.php?uid=1862) [[Reviews](http://www.whofic.com/reviews.php?sid=17610&chapid=38605) \- [5](http://www.whofic.com/reviews.php?sid=17610&chapid=38605)] [Chapter](http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=17610&chapter=2) **or** [Story](http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=17610&chapter=all)   
  
  
1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5

  
  
Chapter Two  
  
(Meanwhile…high above the Earth…)  
  
The villain du jour looks out of the window of his spaceship. His stocking-shaped ship hovers directly over the island of Great Britain. He lets out an evil laugh.  
  
“At last, I have tracked the Time Lord to this insignificant mud ball of a planet. Soon, he and his companion will be my prisoners and then I shall add them to my collection.”  
  
He let out another evil laugh as he moved his stocking-shaped ship closer to the Earth.  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
“Okay, are you convinced now that there are no gold Christmas bots waiting to grab us?” Rose asked as she and the Doctor sat down on a bench.  
  
“Yes, I suppose I was jumping to conclusions.” The Doctor admitted. “Good, it’s nice to know we’ll get through one Christmas without being captured by robot henchmen.”  
  
He put his arm around Rose as he thought.  
  
“Where do these robots come from anyway? A lot of different villains seem to have them. Is there some gold Christmas bot emporium that they all shop at around the holidays?”  
  
“Beats me. I’ve only seen them once. I wasn’t around for the other two times.” Rose said shrugging as she looked at some holiday shoppers nearby.  
  
“Well, trust me, they are all a pain in the arse. It'll be nice to be able to enjoy one Christmas without them around and…”  
  
Rose frowned when she heard the Doctor stop talking. She turned her head around and her eyes widened when she saw a gold robot was standing behind the Doctor with his hands around his throat. She looked at it. It was gold with big, black eyes on its otherwise smooth, blank face. She stared at it. The robot had wooden reindeer antlers tied around its head and a red sash with jingle bells on it wrapped around its neck and torso. There was another sash crisscrossing its mid-section that had the word DONNER on it in big, black lettering.  
  
“Rose, I was right!” the Doctor croaked. “It’s a Christmas bot! Get it!”  
  
Rose jumped up.  
  
“Get off of him!” she yelled at it.  
  
She punched it in the face and cried out when the metal surface nearly broke her hand.  
  
“Rose, look out!” the Doctor gasped. “Behind you!”  
  
Rose turned around and saw another reindeer bot coming towards her. The sash across its mid-section said PRANCER. Rose ducked out of the way when PRANCER made a grab for her. She ran behind the bench. Gritting her teeth, she ran into DONNER. The bot toppled over and released its grip on the Doctor’s neck. He jumped up and reached into his jacket pocket for his sonic screwdriver.  
  
“I don’t know who you are working for this time, but you will not ruin my Christmas again!” he yelled at them.  
  
He paused and took in the antlers and jingle bells.  
  
“Is that it for this year? That’s a pretty crappy disguise. You lot aren’t even trying anymore!” he said.  
  
He leveled his sonic screwdriver at DONNER.  
  
“Doctor, look out!” Rose yelled.  
  
The Doctor turned his head around and noticed PRANCER had pulled a jingle bell off his sash. He threw it at the Doctor’s head. He grabbed Rose and they ducked out of the way as the jingle bell hit the wall behind the bench and exploded. People screamed and ran in all directions as the Doctor and Rose got to their feet.  
  
“Oh great, jingle bell bombs.” The Doctor said. “I wonder what else they have up their robot sleeves?”  
  
He cursed when PRANCER lowered his head and fire shot out of his antlers. He walked towards the Doctor and Rose as his antler flamethrower spewed flames. Rose and the Doctor turned and ran through the panicking crowd trying to find some cover. They turned a corner and gasped when they ran straight into RUDOLPH. The Doctor stared at the red clown nose glued to the bot’s face and shook his head.  
  
“Now I’ve seen everything!” he muttered.  
  
He and Rose ran back around the corner when RUDOLPH threw a jingle bell bomb at them. They hit the pavement when it exploded a few feet behind them. They quickly leapt to their feet and dodged the flames still spewing from PRANCER’s antlers. They ran across the street and ducked into a shop as the three reindeer bots followed them. The Doctor grabbed Rose’s hand.  
  
“Out the back door, hurry!” he said.  
  
They ran through the building trying desperately to get away from the bots. They finally found the back door and ran outside into an alley. They gasped when they found their way blocked on both sides by DASHER and COMET. The Doctor raised his screwdriver and disabled COMET. He turned and tried to use it on DASHER, but the bot quickly lowered his head and used his antler flamethrower. Rose and the Doctor pushed COMET out of the way and they ran out of the alley. RUDOLPH tried to block their way, but they grabbed each other’s hands and ran at him at full speed. RUDOLPH toppled over onto the pavement with a loud clang and they kept on running for their lives.  
  
Then, they saw it. Emerging from the clouds above them was a humongous red and green stocking. The Doctor and Rose stopped and stared at it in shock.  
  
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.” Rose said.  
  
“Run, Rose, before the stocking kills us!” the Doctor yelled.  
  
They ran around a corner trying to escape the monster stocking as it pursued them from high above. Both of their lungs were burning now and their legs ached, but they pressed on determined to make it back to the safety of the TARDIS.  
  
Suddenly, Rose let out a scream as her body lifted off the ground. The Doctor gasped and tried to hold on to her, but it was no use. The Doctor watched horrified as Rose was sucked up into the toe of the stocking ship.  
  
“No!” he yelled as Rose disappeared into the big, gaping hole and the toe quickly closed back trapping her inside.  
  
The Doctor screamed curses at the ship. His eyes widened when the toe swung open. The tractor beam came back down and starting coming for him. He took off at full speed and quickly dodged into a nearby alley as the beam followed behind him. He panted and gasped looking for a way to escape. Up ahead he could see the reindeer bots gathering at the entrance waiting for him. The Doctor put on a fresh burst of speed preparing to ram right into them.  
  
Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a metal door opening in front of him and a man putting a bag of rubbish by the door. He aimed directly at the man and slammed into him knocking them both back into the building. The door slammed shut and the Doctor quickly leaped up and locked it with his screwdriver.  
  
“OI!” The man yelled at him. “WHAT’S THE MEANING OF---“  
  
He was cut off when the Doctor slammed his hand over his mouth.  
  
“Look, I’m sorry, but I had no choice. Someone is chasing me and trying to kidnap me. They just got my friend and I’m next. I need to hide in here until I figure out a plan. Please, just let me hide back here.”  
  
The Doctor glanced up when he heard a bell ringing softly.  
  
“Get off me, that’s the front door. I have a customer.” The man said angrily.  
  
“No! Don’t answer it. It’s a robot! It’ll kill you!”  
  
The man stared at him.  
  
“A…robot?”  
  
“Yes, robots disguised as reindeer are after me. They saw me come in here so they must have found the front door. Don’t go out there whatever you do!”  
  
The man sighed.  
  
“Look, buddy, I don’t have time to deal with this. Why don’t you go back out the way you came and find yourself a crack house you can hide in?”  
  
The Doctor’s mouth dropped open.  
  
“I’m not on crack, alright? The robots are real! They’ve invaded before! Haven’t you seen them?”  
  
“No, I moved to London from Halifax, Nova Scotia this past summer.” The man replied.  
  
“Well, welcome to London. Hope you’ve settled in all right. Now, don’t go out there whatever you do!”  
  
The man shook his head and pushed the Doctor off him.  
  
“Whatever, I don’t have time for this.” He muttered.  
  
The Doctor sighed angrily when the man walked out of the room.  
  
“Fine, just don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He muttered to himself.  
  
He got to his feet and nodded when he heard the man scream.  
  
“Told ya, mate.” he muttered.  
  
A minute later, the man ran back into the room and locked the door behind him. The Doctor gave him a pointed look when the man ran to his side.  
  
“Oh my God, you aren’t kidding! There are robots out there.”  
  
“See, I wasn't lying.”  
  
“Let’s go out this way then.” The man said running to the back door and unlocking it.  
  
“Wait!”  
  
He threw open the door and gasped when he saw DONNER and RUDOLPH standing in front of it. The Doctor lunged at the door when he saw the two bots lower their heads. He locked the door and grimaced in pain when the flamethrowers heated the metal door and burned the hand pressed up against it. The Doctor waved his injured hand and blew on it as he stepped back towards the man.  
  
Then, there was a huge clang as the bots tried to break down the back door. The Doctor and the man jerked their heads around when they heard the other bots trying to get into the wooden door leading back out to the shop. The wooden door splintered easily and the man stood in silent shock as he watched a gold fist break through the wood.  
  
“What do we do?” he asked the Doctor.  
  
The Doctor sighed. He glanced around and saw the bots at the back door were making huge dents in the metal. He looked at the man.  
  
“Hide over there. It’s me they want. I’ll surrender so they won’t hurt you.” He said.  
  
The man hesitated. He didn’t know who this stranger was, but he certainly didn’t want the robots to capture him. The Doctor noticed his reluctance.  
  
“Move, hurry, I’ll be all right!” he said to him.  
  
The man nodded. He quickly ducked into the shadows as the robots finally broke through the wooden door. it slammed to the ground with a loud bang and they stepped across it into the room. The Doctor raised his hands in surrender when PRANCER lowered his head and aimed his antlers at him.  
  
“There’s no need for that. I surrender!” he said to it. "Take me to your leader!"  
  
DASHER came forward and grabbed him by the arm. PRANCER seized his other arm and the man watched silently as the two bots escorted the stranger out of the building.  
  


1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5  
  
Doctor Who and its accoutrements are the property of the BBC, and we obviously don't have any right to them. Any and all crossover characters belong to their respective creators. Alas no one makes any money from this site, and it's all done out of love for a cheap-looking sci-fi show. All fics are property of their individual authors. Archival at this site should not be taken to constitute automatic archive rights elsewhere, and authors should be contacted individually to arrange further archiving. Despite occasional claims otherwise, The Blessed St Lalla Ward is not officially recognised by the Catholic Church. Yet.   
  
Script for this archive provided by [eFiction](http://efiction.sourceforge.net/). Contact our archivists at [help@whofic.com](mailto:help@whofic.com). Please read our [Terms of Service](http://www.whofic.com/tos.php) and [Submission Guidelines](http://www.whofic.com/guidelines.php). 


	3. Teaspoon :: The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008 by cheri

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1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5

  
  
Chapter Three  
  
The door slid back and the Doctor was ushered inside. He looked around at the festive decorations covering every inch of space in the room.  
  
“Wow, whoever captured us must really love Christmas.” He muttered.  
  
He turned to DONNER, who was holding his sonic screwdriver, and PRANCER, who was standing beside him, but they were already walking out the door. He tried to follow them, but the door slid back and locked before he could get out. Cursing, he slammed his hand on the door and turned back around. He put his hands in his pockets and waited for the villain to show up. Minutes passed and the Doctor sighed angrily.  
  
“Well,” he yelled. “If you’re gonna show yourself, do it! I’m in no mood for playing games! I wanna know what you want with me and what you’ve done with Rose and I wanna know now!”  
  
As if in response to his demand, another door across from him slid open.  
  
“Ah! Now we’re getting somewhere.” He said walking towards it.  
  
He walked in the room and paused as he looked around. He didn’t see the villain, but he did see a bunch of silver statues on either side of a long walkway. The Doctor hesitated expecting them to come to life and attack him. When they didn’t, he slowly walked down the walkway to the door on the far end. As he walked, he looked from left to right. The statues were mostly humans although there were a few aliens mixed in with them. They were all arranged in various winter tableaus.  
  
The Doctor slowed his pace and stared at them with fascination. He paused at one scene that showed several humans having a snowball fight and stepped over a red, velvet rope marking off the boundary of the tableau. He walked over to a statue of a laughing, human child and bent over to examine it.  
  
He marveled at how lifelike the statue was. He could even see the dimples in his cheeks. He reached up and flicked the child’s silver cheek with his fingers expecting it to come to life, but it remained motionless. Leaning back up, he walked around to the other participants in the snowball fight examining each one in turn. All of them were lifelike down to the smallest detail. The Doctor had to admire the sculptor’s skill.  
  
He stepped back over the rope and walked across the pathway to the display on the other side.  
  
This one depicted a family sitting by a Christmas tree opening presents. The Doctor frowned. For some odd reason, there was a Slitheen sitting with the family. The Doctor stepped over the rope and walked over to it. It was sitting on a couch by the tree passing a present to a little human girl.  
  
“Interesting,” the Doctor muttered. “Completely wrong, but interesting all the same.”  
  
He flicked his fingers against the Slitheen’s cheek and stepped back to admire it. It also had been rendered in painstaking detail right down to the scar on its forehead. The Doctor would have sworn it was alive if it wasn’t made of silver. He lingered a moment more and then went back over the rope. He continued walking down the path looking at the rest of the tableaus. There were carolers, a family eating Christmas dinner, Father Christmas setting presents by the tree. The Doctor paused at that one when he realized “Santa” was an Ice Warrior.  
  
“Not my first choice for St. Nick, but can’t argue that whoever did this has quite an imagination.” He muttered.  
  
He looked at the tableau on the other side. It looked like it was a scene from the Nutcracker except the “Nutcracker” was a Yeti in a soldier outfit.  
  
“Okay, this is beyond bizarre now.” The Doctor said.  
  
He sighed.  
  
“Right, much as I’d like to linger here and admire Salvador Dali’s view of Christmas, I need to hurry up and find Rose.”  
  
Ignoring the rest of the tableaus, he marched straight towards the door. As he neared it, he half expected it to stay shut, but to his surprise it slid open with a gentle swish. Warily, the Doctor slowly entered, but all he saw were more winter scenes. Sighing, he ignored them all and walked to the door at the other end. It slid open and the Doctor paused when he noticed he was in a workshop.  
  
He looked around and saw a silver statue lying on a table. He walked over to it and looked down. Unlike the other statues with their happy, smiling faces, this one had a look of pure horror on her face. Puzzled, the Doctor reached out and touched her cheek. It was warm to the touch. The Doctor felt the rest of the head and it too was warm. Intrigued, he examined the statue. Everywhere he touched on its body was warm.  
  
“Did they just get done casting this one?” he wondered.  
  
He looked around for the mold, but there was none. He stared around in confusion and then his eyes rested on something near the back of the room. He walked over to it. It looked like a metal frame, almost like a large, black gate, that had silver splotches all over it. It was hanging horizontally on an axis between two metal poles. The Doctor put his hand on the edge of the frame and it went down. He gave it a gentle push and watched as the frame spun around and around. He stopped it and noticed that there were manacles on the side that had been facing up. Two manacles near the top of the frame and two near the bottom.  
  
“What is this thing?” he muttered.  
  
He looked above the frame and noticed a long hose hanging there. He pulled it down and looked at the nozzle. It had a black button on it. He pushed the button and gasped when hot, molten silver sprayed out narrowly missing his trainers. He let go of the hose and it slid back up. He looked at the puddle of silver on the floor, then at the manacles on the frame and finally at the silver statue lying on the table. Bile rose in his throat as his mind began to connect the pieces of the puzzle. Now he realized why the statues were so lifelike.  
  
“Rose.” He murmured as panic gripped his hearts.  
  
He spun on his heel and ran for the door on the other side. It slid open and he stopped. The room was filled with people who were all imprisoned in gigantic, clear orbs that reminded him of the ball ornaments you hung on Christmas trees. Humans and aliens of every age and gender were encased inside staring at him with wide, terrified eyes. The Doctor walked among them staring at them with a mixture of pity and revulsion as the captives pounded on the orbs and begged him for help.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He said to one little girl who was crying and asking him to take her back to her mommy and daddy.  
  
He neared the end of the room and his hearts stopped. There, kneeling in an orb beside the door was Rose. The Doctor ran to her and knelt down in front of the plastic prison as Rose crawled over and put her hands against the side.  
  
“Doctor, are you okay?” she asked.  
  
The Doctor nodded and placed his hands over hers.  
  
“Are you alright?” he asked.  
  
Rose nodded.  
  
“They brought me in here and sealed me in this ball thing. Oh Doctor, these people. They’re going to---“  
  
“I know, I saw it.” The Doctor said.  
  
“Can you free us?”  
  
The Doctor shook his head.  
  
“Not right now. They took my screwdriver.” He said. “I have to figure another way to get you out.”  
  
“No! You can’t stay here. He’ll be back any minute and he’ll capture you if he sees you. Oh Doctor, you have to get away from here before it’s too late.”  
  
“No, not without you. I won’t leave you and these people here and let you be turned into statues. There must be a way to get you out.”  
  
He ran his hands over the orb trying to find a seam. He cursed when he couldn’t find any. He looked at Rose.  
  
“How did you get in here?” he asked.  
  
“They brought me in here and the ball was lying on the floor in two pieces. They put me in this half and then two of the robots put the other piece on. The pieces then kinda fused together into a ball.”  
  
“Bollocks, then I have to figure out a way to unfuse them.” He said running his hands over the surface.  
  
“No! You have to go, Doctor! He wants you. He told me so. He wants to turn you into a statue. You have to go. Please leave me. I’m not worth it.”  
  
“No, Rose, you are more than worth the risk.” He said. “Anyway, I don’t think it matters. I was captured and brought on board so I have a feeling I was supposed to find you. Which means our captor should be showing himself very soon.”  
  
The Doctor and Rose looked over when the door beside them slid open and a man stepped inside.  
  
“Right on cue.” The Doctor said.  
  


1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5  
  
Doctor Who and its accoutrements are the property of the BBC, and we obviously don't have any right to them. Any and all crossover characters belong to their respective creators. Alas no one makes any money from this site, and it's all done out of love for a cheap-looking sci-fi show. All fics are property of their individual authors. Archival at this site should not be taken to constitute automatic archive rights elsewhere, and authors should be contacted individually to arrange further archiving. Despite occasional claims otherwise, The Blessed St Lalla Ward is not officially recognised by the Catholic Church. Yet.   
  
Script for this archive provided by [eFiction](http://efiction.sourceforge.net/). Contact our archivists at [help@whofic.com](mailto:help@whofic.com). Please read our [Terms of Service](http://www.whofic.com/tos.php) and [Submission Guidelines](http://www.whofic.com/guidelines.php). 


	4. Teaspoon :: The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008 by cheri

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**The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008** by [cheri](http://www.whofic.com/viewuser.php?uid=1862) [[Reviews](http://www.whofic.com/reviews.php?sid=17610&chapid=38751) \- [5](http://www.whofic.com/reviews.php?sid=17610&chapid=38751)] [Chapter](http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=17610&chapter=4) **or** [Story](http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?action=printable&textsize=0&sid=17610&chapter=all)   
  
  
1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5

  
  
Chapter Four  
  
The Doctor stared at the man. He was a pudgy middle-aged man with thick black hair and eyes to match. He was dressed in a black leather jacket, black trousers and black boots. He smirked at the Doctor as he knelt beside Rose.  
  
“Who are you?” the Doctor said getting to his feet.  
  
“I am known as the Collector.” He said to him. “As my name implies I collect many things, but I mostly collect Earth Christmas artifacts. Where I come from, celebrations of any kind are unknown, so I’m fascinated with Earth celebrations, particularly Christmas.”  
  
“So, you’re fascinated with Christmas to the point you changed your ship into a gigantic stocking?” the Doctor asked.  
  
“Well, actually, our ships just happen to look like that.” The Collector said. “It’s a very happy coincidence for me.”  
  
“Yeah, well you may be happy, but these people aren’t.” the Doctor said gesturing to them. “Why are you turning innocent people into statues?”  
  
“Well, you see, I not only like the Christmas decorations, I also like watching the people celebrating the holiday and the winter season. I rarely get to come to Earth, so I made the scenes you saw so I can have something to watch when I’m far from here. It makes me happy.”  
  
“Okay, I can understand that, but do you have to kill people to do it? Why don’t you just sculpt people out of silver instead of covering their bodies with it?”  
  
“I tried that, but it didn’t look as good. The statues looked fake and I want my subjects to be as lifelike as possible. I don’t enjoy it as much if they aren’t realistic.”  
  
“Well, I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I must object to you killing people just so you can have some realism in your artwork.”  
  
“I thought you might, which is part of the reason I tracked you and your friend down.”  
  
“So you can turn us into statues?” the Doctor said.  
  
“Exactly.”  
  
“Mmm, and the other reason is…”  
  
“I not only collect people for my winter scenes, I also collect different species. You saw some of them mixed in with the humans?”  
  
The Doctor nodded.  
  
“That is why they are there. I am trying to get one specimen from every planet and you, Doctor, are the last representative of Gallifrey. I must have you for my collection.”  
  
“And so you’ll take the last of my kind and just…kill me. Um, I’m sorry, but I don’t quite get the logic of that. If you are collecting me, wouldn’t it be better if I were alive?”  
  
“Ah, but if I spray you in silver, you will be preserved for all eternity.” The Collector said. “Plus, you won’t be able to inconvenience me by escaping.”  
  
“Oh yes, that would be quite a bother if a rare specimen like myself ran out on you.” The Doctor said.  
  
He gestured at Rose.  
  
“What about her? What will you do to Rose? Cover her in silver too?”  
  
“Of course, I can never have enough humans and she’ll make a beautiful addition to my collection.” He said.  
  
“I won’t let you do it.” The Doctor said.  
  
“You have no way of resisting.”  
  
“On the contrary, I have many ways. In fact, I’m all set to start writing a book about it. I’m thinking of calling it ‘The Doctor’s Guide to Resistance for Every Occasion.’ What’d you think?”  
  
“Very amusing, but I’m afraid this is one occasion where you won’t be able to resist. Both you and Rose will become part of a charming winter scene. Not sure which one yet. I’m not sure how close the two of you are, but you make a very cute couple. How about the two of you sitting in front of a roaring fire kissing and exchanging presents?”  
  
“Hmm, nice, but sounds a bit too Hallmarky for me, not to mention Domestic.” He said making a face. “How about this though? Rose and I in the TARDIS blowing up your ship while we exchange presents? That sounds more like us. Course we’ll both be alive and non-silver coated when we do it. I’m just throwing that in just in case you thought otherwise.  
  
The Collector chuckled.  
  
“You’re very funny. It’s a shame I will kill that wit when I kill you, but sacrifices have to be made. Now if you’ll be a good little Time Lord, my robot helpers will get a ball that you can wait in until I’m ready for you.”  
  
“You seriously think I’m gonna just stand here and wait to be imprisoned.” The Doctor said.  
  
“Oh you will and you will do it quietly, otherwise I’m afraid I’ll have to cut the air to your friend’s prison. You really don’t want to watch that pretty face turn blue, do you , Doctor?”  
  
The Doctor narrowed his eyes.  
  
“Oh, threatening Rose is always the wrong thing to do.” He said in a deadly tone of voice. “If I were you, I would leave her alone and in fact, just be on the safe side, let her and all these other people go and return them to their rightful planets.”  
  
“I think not, Doctor, I’m sorry, but I have other things in mind for you and all the others.”  
  
He pulled out a tiny communicator.  
  
“Come in here and put the Doctor in a cell until I can coat him.”  
  
The door slid back and eight Christmas bots entered the room. The Collector looked at them and looked at the Doctor.  
  
“I see you damaged COMET.” He said. “I really wish you hadn’t done that. These robots take time and money to repair.”  
  
“Well, they shouldn’t have tried to blow me up and barbecue me then.”  
  
The Collector shrugged.  
  
“They were doing what they were programmed to do. They were ordered to capture you by any means necessary and if that meant bring you back to me dismembered or charred so be it. You do not have to be alive for me to turn you into a statue. I can merely reassemble you or coat your blackened body with silver, so I have no objections to my robot’s methods.”  
  
He looked over and noticed DONNER was still holding the sonic screwdriver.  
  
“Is this your weapon?” he said as DONNER handed it to him. “How cute. Ineffectual, but cute.”  
  
The Doctor eyed it as he turned it over in his hands.  
  
“Yes, well, you won’t be needing this anymore. Of course, I’ll just hold onto it as a curiosity.”  
  
He noticed the button on the side.  
  
“What exactly is this? I’ve never seen anything like it.” He said.  
  
“It’s a sonic screwdriver.”  
  
“I see, and what does it do?”  
  
The Doctor glanced at Rose.  
  
“It sends out a sonic frequency capable of bursting a person’s organs, thereby bringing the person instant death.” He said.  
  
The Collector glanced at him.  
  
“You don’t say? So, if I used it, your insides would burst apart, but it wouldn’t affect the outside of your body?”  
  
“I suppose, but…come on, you’re talking like you’re thinking of using it on me.”  
  
The Collector grinned.  
  
“Why not, Doctor? After all, if it only affects your insides, I can kill you and coat your body with silver without any resistance from you.”  
  
“No, please, don’t do it.” Rose said.  
  
The Doctor glanced at her and a knowing look passed between them.  
  
“Please don’t use the sonic screwdriver on him.” She said.  
  
“But my dear, if I just coat him with silver, he will be burned alive. Wouldn’t you rather he died beforehand?”  
  
“I don’t want him to die either way. Please, I’ve seen what the screwdriver can do. It’s just as horrible a death as being coated in silver. Please don’t use it on him.” She begged.  
  
“I’m sorry, I realize you care for the Doctor, but I need him for my collection and I’d rather he die now than wait and have to fight him when I put him on the spraying frame.”  
  
“No, please.” Rose said in a soft voice.  
  
“It’s no use, Rose, I’m afraid it’s goodbye.” The Doctor said to her.  
  
“No! Don’t do this to him! Don’t use the sonic screwdriver on him. I’ll do anything you want, but please don’t hurt him!”  
  
“Hold him!” the Collector said to DONNER.  
  
The Doctor tried to run, but DONNER grabbed his arms from behind and held the Doctor in front of him. He turned back towards the Collector as he aimed the screwdriver at the terrified man.  
  
“Please I’m begging you not to do this!” the Doctor said desperately. “ I don’t want to die!”  
  
“Sorry, Doctor, but I must have you for my collection. If it’s any consolation, you will soon be reunited with your people in the great beyond.”  
  
He smiled.  
  
“Goodbye, Doctor.” He said.  
  
He pushed the button and held the screwdriver at the Doctor’s chest. He waited for him to die, but nothing happened. He frowned.  
  
“How long does it take to work?” he asked him.  
  
“Oh, about a million years probably.” The Doctor replied.  
  
The Collector frowned at the amused smile on his face.  
  
“What do you mean?” he asked.  
  
“Well, I hate to tell you this, but I lied.” The Doctor said smugly. “The screwdriver doesn’t work on flesh. Sorry. Lump of coal in my stocking for that, I guess. It does, however, affect machinery. Like so…”  
  
The Doctor suddenly jerked his body around exposing DONNER’s back to the screwdriver. The Doctor grinned at Rose when he heard it malfunctioning and it started to smoke.  
  
“See…pretty neat, huh?” he said looking back at him.  
  
“You…you ruined another robot!” the Collector yelled.  
  
“Yup, I did, sorry about that. But, I can use my screwdriver to fix him. Here let me take that off your hands so I can.”  
  
Without warning, the Doctor spun around and shoved the disabled robot onto the Collector. He let out a cry and toppled over as the Doctor rushed to him and snatched his screwdriver from his hand.  
  
“Get him, my robots!” the Collector screamed. “Don’t let him…”  
  
He grunted when the Doctor slammed his fist in his face knocking him out. As the robots advanced en masse, he aimed his sonic screwdriver at them and waved his arm back and forth quickly. He grinned when the robots began to twitch and smoke. Finally, the last one gave out and the Doctor rushed over to Rose’s prison.  
  
“Here’s hoping,” he said.  
  
He used the screwdriver on the orb and both of them let out a triumphant yell when the seam appeared.  
  
“Push, Rose!” he yelled.  
  
Rose raised her hands up and slammed them into the top of the orb.  
  
“Push again!” the Doctor said when he saw the top half move slightly.  
  
Rose repeated the motion and the top half moved even more. The Doctor slipped his fingers in the gap.  
  
“One more time!”  
  
Rose let out a yell and pushed up at the same time the Doctor yanked upwards. Both of them whooped when the top half flew backwards and landed on the floor behind the bottom half.  
  
The Doctor and Rose flew into each other’s arms and hugged.  
  
“Oh Doctor, you did it!” she said.  
  
The Doctor put his hand on the back of Rose’s head and held her close.  
  
“You helped.” He said. “Thanks for playing along.”  
  
“Well, once I realized what you were doing, I knew I’d look more realistic if I acted like you were going to die.”  
  
The Doctor nodded. They looked over when they heard the other prisoners begging for release.  
  
“Come on, let’s get the Collector in here and get these people freed so we can all go home.”  
  
Rose nodded. They Doctor helped her out of the orb and they walked over to the Collector, pushing DONNER off of him. They grabbed him by the arms and dragged him into the orb. They put the top on and the Doctor grinned when the two halves fused.  
  
“Now,” he said. “For the rest of the prisoners.”  
  


1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5  
  
Doctor Who and its accoutrements are the property of the BBC, and we obviously don't have any right to them. Any and all crossover characters belong to their respective creators. Alas no one makes any money from this site, and it's all done out of love for a cheap-looking sci-fi show. All fics are property of their individual authors. Archival at this site should not be taken to constitute automatic archive rights elsewhere, and authors should be contacted individually to arrange further archiving. Despite occasional claims otherwise, The Blessed St Lalla Ward is not officially recognised by the Catholic Church. Yet.   
  
Script for this archive provided by [eFiction](http://efiction.sourceforge.net/). Contact our archivists at [help@whofic.com](mailto:help@whofic.com). Please read our [Terms of Service](http://www.whofic.com/tos.php) and [Submission Guidelines](http://www.whofic.com/guidelines.php). 


	5. Teaspoon :: The Doctor Who Christmas Special 2008 by cheri

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1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5

  
  
Chapter Five  
  
After freeing all the captives, the Doctor and Rose reversed the tractor beam and sent the humans down into London. The remaining aliens stood before the two of them.  
  
“How can we ever thank you, Doctor?” a green skinned alien said. “You’ve saved us all.”  
  
“Aw, it was nothing. All I ask in return is you take the Collector somewhere where he can spend the rest of his life away from others.”  
  
“Gladly,” the alien said. “We will take him to the nearest prison planet immediately.”  
  
The Doctor smiled and nodded.  
  
“And now if you don’t mind, Rose and I need a ride down into London. If you could just turn on the tractor beam there…”  
  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
  
“Ah! At last we can relax and enjoy the holiday.” Rose said as the two of them sat in a chip shop.  
  
She picked up a chip and stopped when she noticed the Doctor giving her a pointed look.  
  
“What?” she said.  
  
“I believe an apology is in order.” He said.  
  
“For what?”  
  
“For not believing me when I said there were gold Christmas bots on the loose. See, I was right!”  
  
Rose sighed.  
  
“Alright, Doctor, I’m sorry I doubted you.”  
  
“Thank you, and now that the latest batch of gold bots is dispatched with, we will be spending next Christmas on the TARDIS where I know we’ll be safe from bots and maniacal silver-spraying gits.”  
  
Rose nodded and finished eating the chip in her hand. As she munched, she heard a song coming from a boom box in the corner. She glanced at the Doctor and paused when she saw the smile on his face.”  
  
“What?” she said.  
  
“Dance with me, Rose.” He said holding his hand out to her.  
  
Rose looked around them.  
  
“Doctor, we’re in a chip shop.”  
  
“So? I feel like dancing. Let everyone stare. I don’t care as long as I’m with you.”  
  
Rose smiled and took his hand. He led her to a wide area between the booths and they both began to dance slowly as the other patrons looked on.  
  
“Oh my angel, there’s no greater Christmas present for me than to have you here at my side.” He whispered.  
  
Rose looked into his eyes.  
  
“Same here.” She said.  
  
They kissed and Rose leaned her head against his shoulder as they slow danced to the music. The Doctor glanced around and noticed the others were watching and even the people behind the counter had paused to stare at them. He smiled and turned his attention back to Rose.  
  
“Merry Christmas, my Rose.” He murmured in her ear.  
  
“Merry Christmas, my Doctor.” She whispered back.  
  
The song ended and a faster one started.  
  
“Drat, guess we’ll have to pick up the pace now.” The Doctor muttered.  
  
They sped up in time to the music. The Doctor sighed contentedly as he listened to the lyrics.  
  
It’s Christmastime  
What a holiday!  
Everybody is happy and gay!  
But I’m the happiest one by far,  
Because I’m dancing with my shining star.  
  
The Doctor smiled at that and nodded.  
  
I’m dancing with my girl on Christmas day,  
And soon it’ll be time for us to play  
Cause my gal is a fantastic lay  
So, I’ll be shagging her brains out till Boxing Day.  
La la la lala la, la lala lala lala.  
  
The Doctor raised an eyebrow at that.  
  
It seemed like yesterday she was taken from me  
And I lost all my joy and glee.  
But now we’re back together and I have to brag  
I’m gonna throw down this hottie and shag, shag, shag!  
  
“What?” the Doctor said.  
  
I’m dancing with my girl on Christmas day,  
And soon it’ll be time for us to play  
Cause my gal is a fantastic lay  
So, I’ll be shagging her brains out till Boxing Day.  
La la la lala la, la lala lala lala.  
  
“Um, Rose, this song…are you thinking it’s a little inappropriate for Christmas?” he said.  
  
I’ve lost so much in 904 years, goodness knows.  
But luckily, I got back my precious Rose.  
She’s a goddess from her head to the tip of her toes  
So I’m gonna get down on my knee and finally propose!  
  
The Doctor and Rose both stopped and stared at the boom box.  
  
“Um, Rose, you know something? The last few Christmases I’ve been hearing these songs that seem to fit what’s going on in my life and last year when I was on the Titanic, I heard this song about a stowaway who would find his love by next Christmas day and it came true, so what if this song…”  
  
Then when I marry her and make her my wife,  
We’ll abandon the TARDIS and start a new life.  
There will be no more trouble and no more strife  
Cause Domesticity is the perfect life.  
  
The Doctor stared at Rose with terror filled eyes.  
  
“Um, Rose, maybe we should leave now.” He said.  
  
I’m dancing with my girl on Christmas day,  
And soon it’ll be time for us to play  
Cause my gal is a fantastic lay  
So, I’ll be shagging her brains out till Boxing Day.  
La la la lala la, la lala lala lala.  
  
Then it’ll be the best life I’ve ever had  
Cause I’m gonna shag my little wife like mad.  
We’ll finally get a mortgage and I won’t be sad,  
Cause forty-two kids will make me mighty glad!  
  
“RIGHT, WE’RE LEAVING!” the Doctor screamed seizing Rose’s hand.  
  
“Doctor, it’s just a song!”  
  
“No, Rose, it’s an omen. A bad one! Now, let’s go!”  
  
Rose gasped when he pulled her out the door and slammed it behind him. They got halfway down the street before the Doctor finally stopped and put his hand over his hearts.  
  
“Thank Rassilon; I dreaded hearing what came next after the forty-two kids.” He said.  
  
“What’s wrong with having kids?” Rose said.  
  
She gasped when the Doctor grabbed her arms and looked at her, terrified.  
  
“What do you mean by that? You aren’t pregnant, are you?” he yelled.  
  
“No, Doctor, why would I be pregnant? We haven’t had sex yet.”  
  
The Doctor let out a sigh of relief and slumped against a lamppost.  
  
“Thank Rassilon.” He murmured.  
  
Rose gasped when he got a look in his eyes, lunged at her and seized her arms.  
  
“You love traveling in the TARDIS? It’s your home, right?” he said desperately.  
  
“Yes!” Rose said.  
  
“And you wouldn’t give it up for anything? Not a house or car or kids?”  
  
“No.”  
  
The Doctor breathed another sigh of relief.  
  
“Good, just checking.” He muttered.  
  
“Doctor, that was just a song, alright? It was just a bunch of words!”  
  
“Ah, but words have power, ask the Carrionites.”  
  
“Who?”  
  
“Never mind, “the Doctor said shaking his head. “What matters is you aren’t thinking of chucking it all in for a normal family life.”  
  
“Doctor, if I wanted that, I would have gone back to the other universe. I love traveling in the TARDIS and I want to be with you.”  
  
“Even if we never marry and have forty-two kids?”  
  
“Yes, Doctor, even if we never marry and have forty-two kids.”  
  
“Good.”  
  
“You sure are paranoid lately.”  
  
“No, I’m just being cautious.” The Doctor said. “I haven’t live this long without covering all my bases.”  
  
“Yes, but there’s a difference between covering the bases and throwing them in a safe, locking it and swallowing the key.” Rose said. “Will you relax for a change? We’ve defeated the Collector, he’s on his way to a prison planet, just enjoy the holiday!”  
  
The Doctor nodded. Rose chuckled and threaded her arm though his. She gave him a kiss on the cheek.  
  
“You know, sometimes, you drive me crazy but I still love ya.” She said.  
  
The Doctor glanced at her.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
He smiled and gave her another kiss.  
  
“So, now that things have calmed down, I think we should come up with a strategy.” He said.  
  
Rose frowned.  
  
“For what?”  
  
The Doctor looked at her with wide eyes.  
  
“For the Christmas bots that will come next year. We gotta come up with a game plan so we’ll be ready.”  
  
“Doctor…”  
  
“I can see it now, hundreds of bots dressed up as snowmen throwing coal eye bombs and shooting flames from their carrot nose flamethrowers and you and me are the only thing that stands between them and the total destruction of London.”  
  
“Doctor…”  
  
“Or maybe they’ll be dressed like candy canes, then they could lean backwards and shoot bombs out of the end of the candy cane.”  
  
“Doctor!”  
  
“Or poinsettias? With razor tipped leaves?”  
  
“Doctor!”  
  
The Doctor looked at her.  
  
“What?”  
  
“Give it a rest or I’ll find another orb and stuff you in it.”  
  
“Rose, I’m just planning ahead--“  
  
“Doctor…I’m warning ya!”  
  
The Doctor sighed.  
  
“Fine, but when next year comes around and a bunch of elves ambush us, don’t come crying to me!”  
  
Rose shook her head and chuckled. She kissed him on the cheek. The Doctor grinned at her and held her close.  
  
“Merry Christmas, Rose.”  
  
“Merry Christmas, Doctor.”  
  
They snuggled close to one another as they walked down the busy London pavement towards their home in the TARDIS.  
  
THE END  
  


1\. Chapter 12. Chapter 23. Chapter 34. Chapter 45. Chapter 5  
  
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